Confessions of a Church Girl

14 Nov Confessions of a Church Girl

Here’s my problem with a lot of pastors. I think they get a bad rap.

I mean it’s so very easy to talk about the flashy cars, affairs with choir members and stealing money; it’s a much juicier topic. It really is. But if pastors are meant to be quiet, humble and hard working, that’s probably why no one knows about the good ones.

I speak with such ardent authority, because I… AM A CHURCH GIRL!

In this the age of Trinis winning reality shows, bandeu tops and harem pants, here I am going to a church service on a weeknight.

You probably know a couple church girls yourself. We’re the ones in 3/4 pants at your beach lime, drinking a Shandy, and putting up scripture based BBM statuses. Sundays are the Lord’s, and we don’t mind sermons that are five hours long because we’ve cooked the day before.

Being a church girl is easier when you’re around other church girls and boys. But when you get out there – in the world, it’s tough yo! Everyone wants to know if you’re a virgin, what you do for fun, and if would you come to their bachelorette party, if they brought a stripper.

When it comes to my stance, people are either respectful, curious, offended or could care less. A lot of people think that because I don’t do what they do, that I think I’m better than them or I want to stone them or something. Maybe it’s because I ‘go the distance’. I don’t just go to church. I also don’t smoke, cuss people out or… party (gasp!)

Here’s a conversation that I’ve had at least 23 times:

Person: So you does club and ting?

Me: Nah, that’s not my scene.

Person: Well Jesus went a party yuh know, and he turn water into wine.

Me: Yup, I’ve heard of that story.

Person: I does go party and ting, but I don’t wine and get on bad.

Me: Well, that’s cool. But it’s just that revelry is not something that the Father likes. And as much as I can, I try to stay away from things that He doesn’t like – I’m just sayin’.

Person: So yuh is a virgin ah what?

There are so many negative emotions attached to church people, it’s embarrassing. The popular belief is that we’re a bunch of hypocrites. Other top ten hits include “Church people are blind”, “Church people judge too much”, and my personal favourite, “Church girls are horny girls!”  These ultimately culminate into the mantra, “I could pray from home”.

I’ll be the first to admit that these statements are by and large the truth that we have brought them on ourselves. But to say that they are the whole truth is a gross and unfair generalization that I myself made before I became a church girl. But now that I am a church girl, I see things differently. Not all church people are like that. And while I’m on that point, I actually don’t really like the term church girl – I think it’s simplistic and limiting. I actually prefer to be called a Christian, but whatever.

And what is a Christian?

Christians are normal people with a very different experience. I could duplicate words, but I really could not say it better than Maya Angelou, when she said:

“When I say… ‘I am a Christian’,

I’m not holier than thou,

I’m just a simple sinner

who received God’s good grace, somehow.”

(Just in case you haven’t already read this in some forward e-mail, here’s the entire piece.)

I don’t know what it’s like in other religions, but a lot of people shy away from Christianity ‘cause they think it’s boring. I don’t think it’s boring – honestly, but at the same time the things that I stay away (or try to stay away) from are admittedly exciting. So why not just enjoy all the firewater I can now, give into every good feeling, and pick up this born-again, Christian thing when I’m older?

Because I’m a firm believer in purpose, and that nothing is created without a purpose attached to it. So you and I, we have a distinct, undeniable reason for existence and the only person who knows exactly what that reason is, is our Creator. All that’s left for us to do is get closer to the Creator and fulfil that purpose, and trust me, He wouldn’t like anything better.

I’m going to go all crazy now, and quote a scripture to prove his excitement towards us. Psalm 139 says, “How precious are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand”. Amazing!

In the end, church, prayer and the ferocious hunt for clothes that cover our cleavage is all about getting closer to God – God whose love for us is immeasurable, whose voice is the home to thunder, and whose arms are the softest place on earth.

That’s it!

I may or may not stand for church girls everywhere, when I say this, but I’ll say it anyway:

To the intellectuals – my faith might look blind but it is backed up by evidence. http://bit.ly/rATfMe

To the homosexuals – Yo! I’m entitled to believe what I believe just as much as you are. So let’s split an LLB, stream the latest Big Bang Theory and agree to disagree.

To the ballers and shot callers – I actually don’t know if Beyoncé is part of the Illuminati but, that girl could sang!

And to all – you are loved, like you wouldn’t believe!