What Age is Too Old to Have a Crush?

31 Jan What Age is Too Old to Have a Crush?

Posted at 04:30h in Sex & Relationships by
As we get older, we like to think we’re way more sophisticated at the game called love. So we shy away from feelings that take us back to our younger days when we were naïve and unwittingly open to heartbreak.
Crushes, however, are something that hit us ever so often, even if  we think that this is the kind of feeling only teenagers get, not grown and over 30-something year olds. But there is something about that undefined, heart-racing, tingly, giggly, butterfly-ish feeling you get as soon as that special someone passes you by, or enters a room that tells you your crush is very real. So nah! It can’t be just for teenagers, and like a friend said, “Yuh never too old to have nice feelings”.
The one good thing about crushing at this age is that it may be a bit less dramatic. You don’t really have to experience the awkwardness of friends finding out and laughing at you. We’re grown enough to make our own decisions. We have the choice to either move on, or make advances toward that person until we are satisfied. Nonetheless, we have to be adult and responsible in the decisions we make. You don’t have to go around being a home wrecker.
Now that we’re ‘hard-back’ men and women, we have to handle this game of love with a little more class. Back in our school days, we got all sweaty and nervous, passing notes, making small talk, and hoping to get a slow dance with our crush, when the DJ played the one ‘slows’ in the dance. We had a little hold hand here and there. It was smooth sailing. Now, there are bigger issues to consider.
What if the man is married? What if the woman you like have a man? How will you approach it? You can’t write Mr. So and So a note asking him if he likes you. You can’t send a friend to tell him or her. So for a 30-something and older crush, there are some things we have to understand.
Fellas, women don’t really like a too-shy guy. Sisters, don’t send your best friend, or neighbour to chat up the one man yuh trackin’ in the club or wherever you hang out. He just might end up liking that very friend over you. Note, I’m not saying to feel insecure around your female friends, and feel it’s all a competition. It’s just a different game this time around. Embrace it and go for it. Doh keep the feelings bottled up inside for too long.
We should enjoy that bazodee feeling – acting dotish, fumbling for words to form a proper sentence, and feeling weak in the knees. It’s a feeling that is totally universal, and doesn’t happen only when we’re young and in school uniform, with your socks pulled up to your knees, and ribbons in your hair.
People develop all types of crushes and at any given age, day or time. You have the school-crush, the coworker-crush, the random-person-in-the-maxi-crush, the random-person-in-a-fete-crush, and even the ain’t-no-way-I-have-a-chance-celebrity-crush. You know half of allyuh men feel you will end up with Beyoncé (or someone like her), and most women I know used to swear UP and DOWN that Denzel Washington is, or will be their man.
Of course, for the younger gals, the chocolatey specimen of a man called Idris Elba is the ultimate mold. Either way, just about everybody and their mother has had a crush at some point in their life.
In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter what age you are. Sometimes, you can still get that giddy feeling when you see someone you really, really, really like. What matters is how you handle it. This time, you’re older, so why not be a little more daring and bold, and make a move? Ladies I’m not saying to go man hungry and pursue a man aggressively. Fellas I’m not saying to forever open yourself to a serious diss. I’m just saying, why not take a chance?
No matter how old we are, there isn’t a timeframe for having romantic feelings. So don’t let anybody fool you, and tell you that you too ‘big’ or too old for to have a crush. Crushing is something unexplainable in the beginning, but can unfold into something worthwhile, if it so happens that the feelings between you and the other person are mutual.

As we get older, we like to think we’re way more sophisticated at the game called love. So we shy away from feelings that take us back to our younger days when we were naïve and unwittingly open to heartbreak.

Crushes, however, are something that hit us ever so often, even if  we think that this is the kind of feeling only teenagers get, not grown and over 30-something year olds. But there is something about that undefined, heart-racing, tingly, giggly, butterfly-ish feeling you get as soon as that special someone passes you by, or enters a room that tells you your crush is very real. So nah! It can’t be just for teenagers, and like a friend said, “Yuh never too old to have nice feelings”.


The one good thing about crushing at this age is that it may be a bit less dramatic. You don’t really have to experience the awkwardness of friends finding out and laughing at you. We’re grown enough to make our own decisions. We have the choice to either move on, or make advances toward that person until we are satisfied. Nonetheless, we have to be adult and responsible in the decisions we make. You don’t have to go around being a home wrecker.

Now that we’re ‘hard-back’ men and women, we have to handle this game of love with a little more class. Back in our school days, we got all sweaty and nervous, passing notes, making small talk, and hoping to get a slow dance with our crush, when the DJ played the one ‘slows’ in the dance. We had a little hold hand here and there. It was smooth sailing. Now, there are bigger issues to consider.

What if the man is married? What if the woman you like have a man? How will you approach it? You can’t write Mr. So and So a note asking him if he likes you. You can’t send a friend to tell him or her. So for a 30-something and older crush, there are some things we have to understand.

Fellas, women don’t really like a too-shy guy. Sisters, don’t send your best friend, or neighbour to chat up the one man yuh trackin’ in the club or wherever you hang out. He just might end up liking that very friend over you. Note, I’m not saying to feel insecure around your female friends, and feel it’s all a competition. It’s just a different game this time around. Embrace it and go for it. Doh keep the feelings bottled up inside for too long.

We should enjoy that bazodee feeling – acting dotish, fumbling for words to form a proper sentence, and feeling weak in the knees. It’s a feeling that is totally universal, and doesn’t happen only when we’re young and in school uniform, with your socks pulled up to your knees, and ribbons in your hair.

People develop all types of crushes and at any given age, day or time. You have the school-crush, the coworker-crush, the random-person-in-the-maxi-crush, the random-person-in-a-fete-crush, and even the ain’t-no-way-I-have-a-chance-celebrity-crush. You know half of allyuh men feel you will end up with Beyoncé (or someone like her), and most women I know used to swear UP and DOWN that Denzel Washington is, or will be their man.

Of course, for the younger gals, the chocolatey specimen of a man called Idris Elba is the ultimate mold. Either way, just about everybody and their mother has had a crush at some point in their life.

In the game of love, it doesn’t really matter what age you are. Sometimes, you can still get that giddy feeling when you see someone you really, really, really like. What matters is how you handle it. This time, you’re older, so why not be a little more daring and bold, and make a move? Ladies

I’m not saying to go man hungry and pursue a man aggressively. Fellas I’m not saying to forever open yourself to a serious diss. I’m just saying, why not take a chance?

No matter how old we are, there isn’t a timeframe for having romantic feelings. So don’t let anybody fool you, and tell you that you too ‘big’ or too old for to have a crush. Crushing is something unexplainable in the beginning, but can unfold into something worthwhile, if it so happens that the feelings between you and the other person are mutual.

 

 

Check out the rest of this week’s issue (31/2/11; Issue 43):

 

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About Onika Pascal
Onika Pascal is a Trini living in New York, who holds a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology. She is a single mom, author of two published collections of poetry, aspiring novelist ,and lover of all things purposeful.

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  • redshai83
    Posted at 07:08h, 31 January Reply

    Whoa! I really don’t think you grow out of having crushes,you just know better when you get older.

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