Body Image Issues: Do Men really care about their Looks?

20 Sep Body Image Issues: Do Men really care about their Looks?

Most women are obsessed with looking ‘hot’. Most men? Well that’s up for debate. You’re more likely to see a big belly man take off his jersey without a second thought, than a woman with hardly a few inches of extra belly fat rocking a midriff.

Still, I wanted to know whether behind closed doors, men are just as self-conscious as we ladies are. I’ve met the metro-sexual man, the body builder, and the laid back dude, and they all seem to sing the same song… a man’s concern about his body image is nowhere near as high as it is for women. However, do we really believe that men aren’t that bothered? I went to the guys on this one.

“Most guys like looking fresh,” says Wayne*. “Some can’t be bothered. It depends because everybody wants to look decent. No one could tell me they doh care how they look.”

Marlon*, on the other hand, says, “Societal pressure is there, but we jus doh take it on. Most men are happy in their skin.”

Ok. They’re happy in their skin, he says, but this is well worth debating. It’s hardly ever advertised that men have body image issues. Some of the guys I spoke with agree that men do have less societal pressure to look a certain way. There’s less pressure from the media to look good, and there are less ads and magazines pushing images of the perfect male body to them, compared to women.

Still, with songs about Clarks by Vybz Kartel blazing the airwaves, we can tell that some men (maybe most) do think about their looks, and that they do get fancied up wearing the best of the best. Being ‘ramfled’ is off their list, and they make sure they’re looking clean and crisp. Some guys, like Damien*, don’t mind looking scruffy every now and then, as long as they know they can turn on the “neat, clean and sexy” look when they want to.

“Some men, however, are more obsessive about their looks.”

Some men, however, are more obsessive about their looks. We call them the metrosexuals. They aren’t afraid to step into a salon to keep up their appearances, and get their mani and pedi. Yet, some men won’t be caught doing that, like my friend D who says “there is a thin line between vanity and having pride in one’s appearance”, while admitting that though he’s “far from an ogre”, he acknowledges his flaws, but doesn’t obsess about them.

Aside from the non-obsessive male, there are those who eat, sleep and shit… the gym. From the well-proportioned guy to the guy with the buff chest and chicken legs, who grunts his way through reps, these fellas base a good part of their confidence on their looks. Each muscle must be perfect, and a six-pack is a must. I have a brother who lives in the gym. He wouldn’t class himself as obsessed though. To him, it’s a release from a stressful day at work, the health benefits are obvious, and well, it doesn’t hurt to look good too. So not every guy at the gym is there for the same reason.

Tony*, a young entrepreneur, says that while not every man will obsess about his looks, men generally have at least one part of their body they obsess about, whether it’s their abs, arms, chest or legs. There’s always that one body part they want to improve. Kind of like how we ladies may focus on the boobs, hips, or butt I guess.

Self-love talk aside, most people take pride in their looks to seem attractive to the opposite sex. So does it all come down to image and how that image is defined? Is it that because men and women may hold each other to difference measuring sticks that men aren’t as bothered about their looks?

“A man must portray an image of success to attract a woman, and we don’t need our bodies to do this.”

“I think that an equal number of men and women are obsessed about ‘looking good’,” says Andre*. “Back in my school days (he was a QRC boy), I remember my school mates and I walking around with at least one brush in our school bag. Optimally we would have two. One for the suede shoes and one for the head ’cause the shoe hadda look as sharp as the mark. And this was back in the 90s! We would also have a little splash of deodorant or cologne for the afternoon trek down to the maxi stand where we would pose for a couple hours before actually jumping into a maxi to head home.

“I think the same situation applies today as it did back then. Honestly, I’d say I’m as self-conscious now as I was back then and I don’t believe that it’s a class thing or a pretty boy thing. I believe it’s a man thing. I recall some pardnas from the ghetto going to great lengths to ensure that their shirts were crisp, their marks were straight and their shoes were clean. It all boils down to image. A man must portray an image of success to attract a woman, and we don’t need our bodies to do this. A man doesn’t need a flat stomach to ‘look good’. Of course a six-pack would be the icing on the cake, but I don’t think it beats some fly wheels in portraying an image of success.”

Andre’s point is interesting. Is image what counts for men, as opposed to looks? If you’re driving an Audi, but you’re not as ‘hot’ as the guy who still treks to City Gate, are you more desirable, and thus what really counts are your possessions, and not your looks? Playing devil’s advocate, one could say that the reason men have less pressure about their body image is because while they respond to visual cues more, and may first judge a woman on her looks before giving her a chance at romance, women are much more willing to let a man’s ‘inner beauty’ compensate for what he may be lacking in the looks department. My friend Nic*, however, insists “woman like a man who lookin’ wet”, so effort is still required.

Sex also pops up in the conversation about male body image. Some of the people I spoke to say that men don’t really care that much about their flaws, as long as their package (and I’m not talking about the one from FedEx) can deliver. Do men really care about how their bellies hang, or whether or not their thighs are flabby? These are just a few minor details we women gag over when it comes to doing the horizontal polka.

According to John*: “Some men do care about their bodies, but most don’t. It depends on whether it’s sex in a relationship, or just sex. If you’re in a relationship, you’d want to look good for your boo because the lights must be on.”

There go those visual cues again.

Still, while we’re on the topic of sex, is it that the one thing men possibly obsess over is their ‘magic stick’? Everything else could be out of shape, but not that. I can’t tell you from what age this realization emerges eh, but from past experience and being around enough male friends, if they can’t cast a spell on the ladies with their ‘magical’ abilities, then it’s all downhill for their confidence. So, is it safe to say that their performance and their manhood constitute “the body”… their body?

Male body image is something we hardly talk about, and for some, it’s easy to say that men aren’t as bothered about their looks as women are. What’s your take? Should we believe that men aren’t as obsessed about their looks as women are? Behind closed doors, are men just as self-conscious about their bodies?

* Names have been changed.

by Onika Pascal and Karel Mc Intosh.