The Guy Code: Honour among Men

28 Mar The Guy Code: Honour among Men

*Note from the author – Some women do not like the term pussy. It is used a few times in this article. No disrespect is intended (to women).

Ladies, have you ever been in a conversation with a fella, and realise he gets uncomfortable or evasive every time you bring up certain topics? I’m not talking about you asking your man when allyuh going to get married or start having babies. That’s not where I’m coming from. I’m talking about every time you try to criticize one of his good friends, or update him about the latest news you heard about a mutual friend when you went to check her hairdresser friend.

The main reason for this is because these things are in direct violation of something called ‘The Guy Code’. I know some of you ladies are thinking, “here we go with the bull sh*t”, but it’s a real thing – an unspoken code of ethics that all fellas MUST adhere to.

Now, I’m not going to spell out the details or direct you to the particular phrase to google to find out more; and don’t even bother to search the title. Your computer will detect your tits, and deny you entry to the website. So ladies, consider this the closest you’ll get to knowing the statutes of “The Guy Code”. Fellas… you know the deal. Breaking these codes brings serious consequences… like risk being branded a pussy for the rest of your life.

Gossip? What’s that?  

Everyone knows that fellas doh gossip. We are social commentators. We observe what’s happening around us, and discuss our opinions with our friends. The key differences here are that these conversations tend to be less than five minutes long, and that someone in the conversation actually saw the event that is being discussed. Any guy who attempts to bring he-say, she-say into a conversation and turn this social commentary into full-fledged gossip runs the risk of breaking the code, and being told, “Boy gone from here nah”.

Co-ordinating outfits

As more men embrace their feminine side under the guise of being ‘metro’, there are some things that guys still just aren’t allowed to do, such as co-ordinate outfits on a night out, with Halloween being the only exception if you’re going as Batman and Robin. I take it to a bit of an extreme level in that my bredren cannot even go out wearing the same cologne. Those things are for girls. No matter how metro you think you are, fellas not allowed to do that. It’s just wrong.

Sleeping with yuh bredren’s ex

There are two schools of thoughts here. Some fellas apply the saying “dawgs before b*tches” when it comes to this, and use it as an excuse to justify tackling a bredren’s ex, thereby destroying the possibility of him ever having a random, drunken trek down memory lane with that ex. Then there’s the obvious questionable action of hurting yuh bredren ‘cause he had real check for de gyul. This is totally wrong, because someone who does this to a bredren is taking advantage of the male bond, as he knows you that the chance of his pardna locking him off for this is slim. This is a perversion of the “dawgs before b*tches” saying, and should not be allowed to happen (this is the second school of thought). Girls should not be allowed to ‘dick measure’ using this method.

Even if the girl comes on to the friend, there are very rare situations where this unscrupulous behaviour is forgiven, like, for example, if you did not know that your bredren had ‘a ting’ with the female in question (I mean, you are not expected to know every single girl your bredren blaze over the years, especially if he is a whore).

Dawgs before b*tches (aka bros before hos)

The correct application of this saying has a number of scenarios. The first being, if you have a bredren who is becoming pussy whipped, he usually just needs a gentle reminder. Michael Scott in “The Office” sums up the thinking behind this pretty well, when he says “… your bro will be there for you, when your ho rips your heart out for no good reason”.

Another application comes into play when girlfriends, or wives forget about this rule and try to interrogate friends or their other half about particular ‘situations’ a homeboy was involved in that she never really got a full explanation for, or didn’t understand.

I know some of you ladies fully understand that you are testing the loyalty of the friendship when you try this skulduggery, but 99% of the time you lose. Even if you do manage to extract some new information and think, “Ahh yes he didn’t deny everything, I knew my man was lying”, stop and think…. “What information did I have to give up to get that piece of the puzzle?” That’s all I can divulge about this without crossing the line of breaking the code.

No snitching

Now, this scenario is related to the ‘dawgs before b*tches’ rule. One of the first things we all do is investigate a person – if we can – when we identify that we like them and things start getting serious, right? So we open a file, and do a little background check, or character reference, as they like to call it in the working world.

Ladies, when you go to your guy friends to ask about someone because you know they went to the same school or went to lessons in secondary school together, under no circumstance is that dude supposed to divulge details of the guy in question. He is allowed to raise an eyebrow, and say, “I’m not too sure if he is the right guy for you”, or even go as far as, “He didn’t have a very good reputation back in the day”. As soon as he starts bussing the man files and calling names… it is your duty as a human being to cut the conversation short, label this dude a pussy, and put him on super-limited access to your FB profile and whatever other social media access he has to you.

Here is why. Apart from breaking the first guy code I mentioned, if you make the mistake to think, “Yeah, I’m glad I spoke to Jack about this”, I can almost GUARANTEE that this dude has done, or will do, the same to you, if he knows your business.

These types of fellas are no good to anyone, and, in the interest of ‘friendship’, will buss you up just to say to the other person… “I was looking out for you”.

So ladies, next time you realise the fella you talking to moving kinda shifty, and you not sure why, or a fella says to you, “I real doh like that fella”, but he can’t really give you a proper reason, think back to this article, and maybe it will put what he is saying into perspective. Fellas, if you disagree with what I said here, message me @ ideas@outlish.com. We have to show solidarity in these matters.